After having received some feedback from our teacher, we have decided as a group that the following areas need to be worked on…
- The quote “and if you don’t let me in” is rather ambiguous and needs to be more explicit in the fact that Mark is trying to get inside a police station to find evidence of the case of the Black Widow.
- The shots of London could do with being darker as noir is meant to be a dark genre. Therefore we should look into re-filming these scenes either in London again or moving the scenes to Brighton.
- Rerecord the voiceovers in a studio and up the quantity, therefore, improving the quality of the film.
- The shot of Mark walking away from the graveyard is not in focus and serves no narrative purpose- therefore we should consider removing it.
- Whilst the font for the titles looks good, the background should be revised and maybe tweak the transition between footage and titles. The text referring to when Mark had thought he had “moved on” should be clearer in what it is referring to.
- The shots inside the are too dark and should be brightened in post-production.
- The whispering in the ear is not clear that it is saying “follow me”.
- More natural sounds to the London scene to distract from the fact it is dubbed.
- A slight error in the jump cut to when Mark and Hans meet. Mark smirks slightly when they shake hands- this is conveying the wrong tone.
- From the scene inside the bedroom onwards, the trailer becomes slightly too linear and should be spread out to make it more like a trailer again.
- Change the tense of the title “before he knew it he could not longer escape” to the present tense to give it a narrative enigma.
- The scene of Mark investigating Hans’ house and closing the door to his own home could look more professional.
- Place more emphasis on the character of Rosette since the films name by nature is ‘The Widow’s Web’.
This initial feedback will enable us to create a checklist of things we can improve going forward. As a group, we will now work out a plan for how we go about reshooting certain elements or tweaking things in post-production. Furthermore, this feedback is only indicative of the thoughts of one individual therefore meaning more indicative research must be conducted in order to discern patterns, which will highlight the most glaring flaws in our trailer.